Have Your Head Examined

Vomit. That was the first sensation I remember. The acrid residue of bile filled my mouth, tasting vaguely of cheeseburger, but I felt confused--I didn't remember throwing up. The second sensation was pretty close to follow. Pain. Paralyzing pain burned through my abdomen. I remembered the words that the doctor told me right before the anesthesia took over, "You may wake up without your uterus." Well, I guess they took it, I told myself. I tried to take in my surroundings, but there wasn't much that could pull my brain away from the screaming pain inside me. I heard my dad's voice say, "Could we give her a blessing before she goes?" It was familiar. It was comforting. My dad was there. It seemed like he'd left the hospital only minutes before. Then, I heard my Joe's voice. I wanted to see his face and hold his hand. I opened my eyes, but everything was fuzzy and dark. Then, I felt my Joe's hands, not in my own, but on my head. His voice com...

After Olivia was born, and Joe and I had a little bit of sleep, we began discussing middle names. I was pretty set on Ruth. I love the story of Ruth in the Bible, and when I was an infant my dad mentioned Ruth in my baby blessing. She's a woman that I really admire. However, Joe mentioned that he'd been reading in Isaiah and the word "joy" had jumped out at him. "What do you think about Olivia Joy?" he asked. "Hmm," I said, "I'll need a little bit to think about it." And we left it at that. My parents came to visit us at the hospital around 11:00 a.m. as I was nursing Olivia for the third time. She was concealed beneath my nursing cover, so they patiently waited to see grand-baby number 9. When Olivia had finished and I handed her to my mom, my heart felt so full seeing the look of pure love in my mother's eyes. There was something incredible about seeing the woman who taught me pure love, love my baby. A few moments later, I ...