Skip to main content

Real Men, Part 1: My Dad

My dad is an incredible man. Although he swears that he wasn't always this way, he is incredibly good. He is a hard worker, a planner, a competitor, and a goofball. He loves and respects my mother. He finds joy and fulfillment in his children. He loves adventures, and I don't think I've ever seen him be afraid of anything. And yet, through a simple experience I realized there is still so much I don't know about him.

After having my fourth baby I had a brief period of postpartum depression. My dad has always been a great listener. As my dad and I were driving home from a trail race we'd run together, I was describing a lot of my feelings during the depression. He quietly listened and then after a moment or two he said, "Did you know that I went through a period of depression?" It was as if someone had thumped me on the head. I had no clue. He said he'd never forget how depression had made him feel. He felt convinced that he couldn't do anything right. At church one day, he held the door open for a woman who gave a very sincere compliment for his kindness. He was so overcome by her words that he had to escape to the bathroom to recover. He talked about the circumstances surrounding the depression, and how my mom had picked up on some crucial signals that led to him getting the help that he needed. The timing of the help he received allowed him to make a pretty quick recovery.

There were three simple things that I took away from this experience with him:

1. Never take for granted what a few simple heartfelt words can do for another person. You can never know what someone else is going through. Give them the benefit of the doubt, and don't hesitate to offer some words of kindness.

2. I don't really know much about my parents personal trials and hardships. I think I have a general sense of some things that they chose to share with us, but there is so much that I will probably never know. It doesn't make me resentful, it makes me more grateful to them. My parents are ordinary people with both common and uncommon trials. Yet, as a kid, they never shared that baggage with their children. They let us grow up in innocence, navigating us through our own insignificant problems, and supporting each other through their own private struggles. I believe, that is as it should be.

3. As a kid, you look to your parents as the ones to be there for you, not the other way around. As an adult, I have a whole new level of relationships to build with my parents. Those relationships will continue to change and evolve as I am more conscious of their needs and not so absorbed in my own. As I gain greater insight into who they are, how they cope with struggle, and grow from their experiences, they will continue to help me navigate the daily challenges of my own life.

I am grateful my dad is a real man who doesn't passively take a back seat in his familial role, but doesn't aggressively dominate either. He is constantly undergoing self-evaluation, making changes, and working hard to become better. My dad isn't perfect (yet), but I love him. I am grateful to have the time get to know him and learn more from him every day.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Part 5: SSTU

SSTU: Surgical Specialty and Transplant Unit. It was here on the 5th floor of the University of Utah hospital that I was relocated and settled. They set us up in a room in the far corner of the surgical floor that was pretty isolated from everything else; a fact I was very thankful for. The room was small and had a tiny window, but by the end of our stay it'd been decorated with multiple bouquets of flowers, get well cards, and pictures from the kids. The staff of the SSTU agreed that Olivia could stay with us on the floor as long as I was not the primary care taker. I could not be left alone with her. It was now Tuesday evening and I hadn't seen my newborn in over 24 hours. Joe picked Olivia up at Lone Peak around 5:00 pm, ran home to grab clothes and baby supplies, took her to his parents house to see the kids, and then finally I was able to hold her again around 8:00. One of the first things I did was feed my baby a bottle. It had taken the nurses at Lone Peak about 7 hours ...

Earth Has No Sorrow that Heaven Can't Heal

There have been many times during my life when I have felt that I have never been asked to endure anything too hard. However, I also recognize that there have been times in my life where it feels like there is no reprieve from the hardships and trials that we are asked to endure. On Wednesday night Benjamin was jumping on the couch (something he knows he is not supposed to do) and hit the back of his head on the window sill. I heard the thud and knew it was pretty hard. I inwardly rolled my eyes and thought, "This is what happens when you don't listen to mom." As he wandered over to me for comfort, which I was prepared to give following a stern rebuke, there was suddenly blood everywhere. It dripped on the couch, across the kitchen, all down the back of his neck and face, and all over his shirt. I was suddenly in a panic. His scalp had split open and he was leaving evidence everywhere. Fortunately Joe had just gotten home and was able to come to my aid. After about 10 mi...

Remember, This Is Your Gift

This is from a letter I wrote to my brother this fall. This is to help me remember. "Oh, remember these words, and keep my commandments. Remember, this is your gift." -D&C 8:5 "It was a pretty rough summer for me. I pretty much hit rock bottom. Having babies hasn't been too hard for me, but with Alaina, things were a bit different. She is an incredible baby. She is so happy and spunky. You will absolutely love her! Things went really smoothly with her delivery and bringing her home was all good. The kids adore her. The problem was more with me. I got postpartum depression pretty bad. Hormones can be very unforgiving. Basically, I felt worthless. I felt like my kids deserved so much better than me; that I would never be a good enough mom. I was angry all the time, I was crying all the time, and I felt like I was going crazy, and this was going on for months. It got to the point one day where the three kids were fighting and crying, Alaina was crying, and I almo...